Jennifer Hudson is a global superstar, but not everything in her life is dreamy. The "American Idol" contestant spoke with The Guardian Observer about losing her mother, brother, and nephew in a fatal gun attack.

"I have definitely seen the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows," the "Dreamgirls" star revealed. "You don't know how strong you are until you are placed in that kind of moment."

On coping with grief, Hudson explained, "If I close my eyes, I can almost remember what it was like, what I was like, 15 years ago. I was at home in Chicago, still in high school, singing in church, living with my family."

"But generally, no, it feels like another Jennifer life. I don't look the same. I'm a mother now. So many things have changed. I sometimes think the only constant is my voice. That hasn't gone away."

The star's former brother-in-law William Balfour gunned down her three family members, and received three life sentences in 2012.

"In many ways the trial was the most dreadful part of it all," Hudson recalled. "But again I know my mother would not have wanted us to miss a beat, so we were there every day."

"I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have to experience anything like that, but that is what you do for your family, so that is what we did..."

On a lighter note, the "Idol" singer talked about her new, slimmer figure.

"People I knew ten years ago, 50lbs ago, will be really strange around me. I have to remind them it is me, Jennifer, honestly," she told the publication.

"I have a lot more fun with clothes and shopping these days. But as far as sense of self I have always had a lot of confidence."

Hudson went on to explain the motivation behind her drastic weight loss.

"There were several reasons for it. One was preparing for an acting role. The other was that my fiancé and I realised that when we were growing up neither one of us had good health examples," she said.

"We were always told to finish your food, clear your plate. We were never taught the proper way to eat. We grew up around a lot of eating, fish fries on Fridays, all that," the star continued.

"When I was ready to have my son we wanted to teach him right. It was not until I went to Hollywood that I realised people might watch what they eat. I was like, 'Wow!' And then I thought 'OK, I can do that.'"

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